Bila hati gundah gulana, ke mana ia perlu di bawa?

Bila kehidupan diburu kebosanan, pasti ada sebabnya. Walhal kita miliki banyak perkara. Jika apa yang kita buat tidak lagi memberikan kebahagiaan maka sudah masanya kita selidiki di mana kelompongan itu. Adakala kita lupa menyiram ketandusan rohani hingga ia menjadi kering kontang, maka kesanya jiwa kita menjadi keluh kesah. Hati tidak tenteram. Hidup seeprti buntu dan tiada sinar cahaya. 

Adakalanya juga kita seperti rasa terasing di kalangan orang yang ramai. Mengapa kesunyian itu menghambat kita walhal sekeliling kita riuh rendah. Kenapa rasa sepi itu seperti mengmencengkam kalbu? Kenapa masalah sering mendatangi kita, walhal kita sentiasa cuba mengelak darinya.Jawapanyanya mudah.. Allah menyayangi kita.. Dia mahu kita bercakap-cakap denganya, Dia mahu kita dekat dengannya..hingga rasa sepi itu menjadi suatu yang indah, sunyi itu memberi irama keceriaan buat kita... masalah itu memberi erti dan hikmah untuk kita.. maka ketahuilah Allah sebenarnya menyayangi kita... Maka sujud dan berdoalah kepadaNya sentiasa...

Bila Sifat Marah Merajai Diri

Sikap marah ada dalam diri insan yang tidak mampu menahan sabar. Orang yang pemarah dan tidak boleh bersabar dilijhat sebagai bukan seorang yang berani atau kuat. Ini kerana seseroang yang mudah naik marah dengan hal-hal yang remeh dilihat sebagai seorang yang tidak boleh mengendali diri sendiri. Apabila tidak mampu mengendali emosi maka bagaimana mahu mengendali hal-hal yang lain. Sikap marah ini ada juga yang diwarisi, dari datuk moayang hingga turun kepada cucu cicit. Betulkah begitu? Pada hemat saya, sikap marah ini bukan melalui darah daging, tetapi ia terjadi dari satu generasi kepada satu generasi kerana peniruan. Indiviu sebegini belajar dari pemerhatian. Conothnya seorang kanak-kanak memerhati orang dewasa yang significan dengannya memarahi dan mudah panas baran, maka dia secara tidak langsung telah memasukkkan episod tersebut dalam mindanya. Ia secara tidak sengaja menjadi sebati bila berulangkali video tersebut dilihat didepan matanya. Umpama bapa yang bersikap pemarah sering menunjukkan sikap tersebut kepada anak-anak maka secara tidak langsung mereka juga membesar menjadi pemarah dan pembengis seperti bapa mereka. 

Persoalannya bolehkan seseorang mengubah individu yang ada bersama atau yang hampir dengan mereka itu  dari bersikap maraj kepada sikap sabar. Jawapan saya memang BOLEH. Iaitu dengan bersabar dan semtiasa berdoa agar orang yang bersikap sebegini diberi hidayah, disuntik iman agar mereka sabar. Mungkin orang sekeliling tidak tahan dengan orang yang pemarah kerana dari sekecil-kecil hal, hingga sebesar-besar perkara si pemarah akan mensasarkan kemarahan kepada orang sekeliling mereka. Apa yang perlu saat seseorang itu sedan marah maka berusaha unutk tidak bersuara, berusaha untuk tidak mengeruhkan lagi keadaan dengan membantah atau membuat provokasi. Adakala kita perlu memahami bahawa orang yang pemarah sebenarnya emosi dan minda mereka berada dalam keadaan tidak stabil. Apabila ini berlaku mereka tidak sedar bahawa mereka bersikap dengan sikap yang tidak sewajarnya. 

Kita perhatikan, sesorang yang hebat seperti pemimpin contohnya, jika mereka tegas mereka akan dihormati, tetapi jika mereka ini pembengis maka ramai yang akan mejauhi. Tegas dan bengis adalah dua  sikap yang berbeza. Untuk menjauhi sikap ini maka perbanyakkan zikirullah. Cari kedamaian dan ketenangan hati dengan memperbanyakkan solat (terutama mengamalkan solat jemaah)  dan berpuasa sunat bagi menundukan nafsu Ammarah tersebut. Selain itu sentiasalah mejaga diri agar sentiasa dalam wuduhuk agar kita dijauhi oleh syaitan yang suka menghasut hambaNya.

Wallahuaalm

Dairi Seorang Penulis : Menjana Idea Menulis

Seringkali saya mengatakan apabila mahu menulis akan ada banyak cabarannya. Salah satunya adalah bila kita mahu menulis tetapi kekeringan idea. Idea seperti tidak dapat dikeluarkan untuk menulis biasanya berkait dengan emosi atau fikiran kita yang mungkin terganggu dengan sesuatu hal. Saya juga pernah begitu, tetapi adakalanya juga apabila kita dalam keadaan tertekan atau bersedih idea boleh juga datang mencurah. Maka tidak dapat tidak saat idea tidak mahu datang maka inilah ketikanya kita perlu mennambahkan lagi ilmu dengan membaca. membaca adalah satu perkara yang wajib bagi yang mahu menjadi penulis. 

Jika kita malas membaca dan menggali ilmu maka idea kadangkala susuh untuk diterjemahkan dalam bentuk penulisan. ramai yang kononnya mempunyai idea pelbagai, tetapi mempunyai kesukaran untuk diterjemah dalam bentuk penulisan. Bahkan ada yang sudah menulis pelbagai perkara tetapi sering tidak berkesudahan, ini kerana diri adakala mempunyai mood tersendiri, bahkan adajuga datang sifat malas, ketika itu kita memberi alasan pelbagai untuk tidak siap menulis. 

Tips paling mudah bagi memastikan kita sentiasa dapat menjana idea berterusan bukan semata-mata membaca, kita perlu juga memohon kepada Allah agar diberikan ilum dan ilham. Kita perlu sentiasa bersyukur kepada Allah atas anugerah ilmu dan pengetahuan kepada kita. Semuanya adalah milik Allah yang dipinjamkan kepada kita. Oleh itu banyakkan soalt taubat serta beristikharah agar idea menulis akan dapat diperoleh. Untuk menjadi penulis perlu berani dan percaya bahawa apa yang kita tulis itu walaupun mungkin tidak sehebat orang lain tetapi setidaknya kita telah memulakan langkah unutk menjadi penulis.

Wallahuaalam

Motivasi Diri

Ilmu yang banyak perlu dikongsi 
Harta menimbun perlu dimanfaat 
Masa yang ada perlu diisi
Fizikal dan minda yang sihat perlu beribadat 

Bila cermin Diri Memantulkan Wajah Hakiki, Bila Agenda Sebenar Tersingkap

Seringkali kita berdepan dengan satu-satu perkara yang berkait dengan perkara yang mengaibkan atau yang bersifat "biarlah rahsia".. eloklah kita berhati-hati bila mahu berkongsi. Bukan semua cerita perlu dijaja kepada semua hingga tersingkap aib diri. Jika sarat kita membawa slogan kebaikan dan misi yang dilihat begitu sempurna namun bila cermin diri sebenar terpantul maka tersingkaplah agenda sebenar. 

Maka berpadalah dalam mengata orang yang tidak kita suka, perpada juga dalam menyanyangi orang yang kita suka ditakuti bila semuanya tiada ia berubah menjadi sebaliknya. Semua perkara berkait dengan soal hati. Apa yang tersembunyi hanya Dia yang mengetahui, tapi berhati-hatilah kerana apa yang ada di sanubari akan mumcul jua satu hari nanti keikhlasan sebenar. Oleh itu jagalah diri. mohonlah agar Allah menjaga kita dari perkara yang boleh merosakkan hati. Jika akhlak mulia boleh diterapkan maka yang TULUS DAN TELUS akan terhasil. 

Hidup ini tidak perlu menjadi orang lain. Terimalah kelebihan dan kekurangan seadanya. Jangan peduli dengan kerenah dan kehendak manusia yang tidak pernah kesudahan. Jika hebat diuji sekalipun percaya pada hikmah. Maka ada ketikanya kita tidak perlu mencanang kepada dunia untuk simpati. Tidak perlu memukul gendah mahu dilihat hebat. Tidak perlu membohongi diri sendri agar dilihat sempurna. jangan jadikan diri ibarat sembunyi kepala ekor tertonggeng. Adakala perlu berahsia, adakala perlu bersederhana dan seadanya. Kita hanya insan biasa yang menunggu dipanggil pulang olehnya... 

Buat yang mahu memahami hakikat diri dan kehidupan...

Wallahuaalam.

Mencari yang Bernama Sahabat

Jauh perjalanan luas pemandangan... perumpamaan ini amatlah benar. Setiap kali berjalan melihat dunia luar maka setiap kali itu juga banyak perkara dan ilum dapat dicedok, menambah satu lagi pengetahuan buat diri. Satu perkara yang dipelajari adalah kita mengenal insan yang bersama-sama dengan kita lebih dekat. Mengingati hal ini teringat satu nasihat.. "jika kamu ingin mengenali sahabat kamu maka mengembaralah bersamanya....". Ternyata perjalanan ini membawa diri untuk mengenal lebih dekat seorang lagi sahabat Momen manis yang banyak dikutip bersama bakal mengiringi perjalanan ini. Syukur padamu Allah memberi peluang dan ruang untuk kesekian kalinya...

Multicultural Training

Knowledge needed to function effectively in multicultural environments.

Awareness of learned prejudices and fears about differences and the on professional relationships.

Skills to increase the level of cultural competence, cross-cultural conflict resolution and creative problem solving.

Action to develop plans to implement the new knowledge, awareness and skills to the organization

Meraikan Kedatangan 10 Muharram

Hari ini ini merupakan detik bersejarah dalam kalendar Islam. Bersempena tarikh 10 Muharram maka umat Islam di sunatkan berpuasa. Selain hari ini disunatkan juga berpuasa pada 9 Muharram, ini berdasarkan hadis Rasulullah yang bermaksud: 

"Daripada Ibnu Abbas berkata; " Rasulullah datang ke Madinah maka Baginda melihat orang-orang Yahudi berpuasa pada 10 Muharram lalu Baginda bersabda; kenapa begini? Mereka menjawab; "Ini adalah hari yang baik, Allah telah menyelamatkan pada hari ini Nabi Musa dan Bani Israel daripada musuh-musuh mereka (Fira’un) maka Musa berpuasa. Lalu Nabi bersabda; "Aku lebih berhak daripada kamu terhadap Nabi Musa, maka Nabi berpuasa dan memerintahkan agar berpuasa". Dalam riwayat yang lain, "Maka kami berpuasa pada hari tersebut sebagai menghormatinya". Hadis riwayat Bukhari (2004) dan Muslim (1130)."

Hikmah disunatkan puasa 9 Muharam;

Imam An-Nawawi berkata:" Para ulama dikalangan Sahabat kami (Syafieyyah) dan selain mereka menyatakan tentang hikmah berpuasa Tasua' (9 muharam) dengan beberapa wajah;

1) Ianya adalah bertujuan menyalahi Yahudi (tidak sama dengan mereka) ketika hanya berpuasa Asyura sahaja.

2) Adalah bertujuan menyambung puasa Asyura dengan puasa seperti larangan Nabi berpuasa pada hari Jumaat semata-mata. Ini disebutkan oleh Al-Khattobi dan ulama-ulama lain.

3) Sebagai langkah berjaga-jaga ketika kita berpuasa Asyura, yang mungkin ditakuti kurang sehari anak bulan. Maka akan berlaku kesilapan hari ketika berpuasa. Maka boleh jadi puasa 9 Muharram itu adalah yang sebenarnya 10 Muharram".

Akan tetapi wajah yang paling kuat adalah yang pertama. Syeikhul Islam Ibnu Taimiyyah menyatakan; "Nabi Muhammad Alaihi Solatu Wassalam telah melarang daripada menyerupai Ahli Kitab dalam hadis-hadis Baginda yang banyak seperti dalam sabda Baginda tentang Asyura; "Jika aku hidup pada tahun hadapan maka aku pasti berpuasa Tasua' (9 Muharram). 

(Dipetik dari : http://yeopmadiny.blogspot.com/2009/12/mari-berpuasa-asyura-tasua.html

Stress Management Strategy

Stress management strategy #1: Avoid unnecessary stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

• Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
• Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
• Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
• Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
• Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

Stress management strategy #2: Alter the situation

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

• Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
• Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
• Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
• Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under.

Stress management strategy #3: Adapt to the stressor

If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

• Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
• Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
• Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
• Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

Adjusting Your Attitude

How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as "always," "never," "should," and "must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.

Stress management strategy #4: Accept the things you can’t change

Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.

• Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
• Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
• Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.
• Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Stress management strategy #5: Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.

Healthy ways to relax and recharge

Go for a walk. Spend time in nature. Call a good friend. Sweat out tension with a good workout. Write in your journal. Take a long bath. Light scented candles.

Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea. Play with a pet. Work in your garden. Get a massage. Curl up with a good book. Listen to music. Watch a comedy.

Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

• Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
• Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
• Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
• Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Stress management strategy #6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle

You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health.

• Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.
• Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
• Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
• Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
• Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm

How To Deal With Stress

When we are stressed the following happens:

• Blood pressure rises
• Breathing becomes more rapid
• Digestive system slows down
• Heart rate (pulse) rises
• Immune system goes down
• Muscles become tense
• We do not sleep (heightened state of alertness)

Most of us have varying interpretations of what stress is about and what matters. Some of us focus on what happens to us, such as breaking a bone or getting a promotion, while others think more about the event itself. What really matters are our thoughts about the situations in which we find ourselves. 

We are continually sizing up situations that confront us in life. We assess each situation, deciding whether something is a threat, how we can deal with it and what resources we can use. If we conclude that the required resources needed to effectively deal with a situation are beyond what we have available, we say that that situation is stressful - and we react with a classical stress response. On the other hand, if we decide our available resources and skills are more than enough to deal with a situation, it is not seen as stressful to us. 

We all respond differently to a given situation for three main reasons

1. We do not all interpret each situation in the same way.
2. Because of this, we do not all call on the same resources for each situation
3. We do not all have the same resources and skills.

Some situations which are not negative ones may still be perceived as stressful. This is because we think we are not completely prepared to cope with them effectively. Examples being: having a baby, moving to a nicer house, and being promoted. Having a baby is usually a wonderful thing, so is being promoted or moving to a nicer house. But, moving house is a well-known source of stress. 

It is important to learn that what matters more than the event itself is usually our thoughts about the event when we are trying to manage stress. How you see that stressful event will be the largest single factor that impacts on your physical and mental health. Your interpretation of events and challenges in life may decide whether they are invigorating or harmful for you. 

A persistently negative response to challenges will eventually have a negative effect on your health and happiness. Experts say people who tend to perceive things negatively need to understand themselves and their reactions to stress-provoking situations better. Then they can learn to manage stress more successfully.

Some of the effects of stress on your body, your thoughts and feelings, and on your behavior:

Effect on your body

• A tendency to sweat
• Back pain
• Chest pain
• Childhood obesity - researchers at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia published a report in Pediatrics in October 2012 explaining that a number of stressors from parents can increase the risk of obesity in their children. Lead researcher, Elizabeth Prout-Parks, M.D., said "Stress in parents may be an important risk factor for child obesity and related behaviors. The severity and number of stressors are important."
  
  Examples of stressors include mental health problems, poor physical health, financial strain, and trying to manage in a single-parent household.
• Cramps or muscle spasms
• Erectile dysfunction
• Fainting spells
• Headache
• Heart disease
• Hypertension (high blood pressure)
• Loss of libido
• Lower immunity against diseases
• Muscular aches
• Nail biting
• Nervous twitches
• Pins and needles
• Sleeping difficulties
• Stomach upset

Effect on your thoughts and feelings

• Anger
• Anxiety
• Burnout
• Depression
• Feeling of insecurity
• Forgetfulness
• Irritability
• Problem concentrating
• Restlessness
• Sadness
• Fatigue

Effect on your behavior

• Eating too much
• Eating too little
• Food cravings
• Sudden angry outbursts
• Drug abuse
• Alcohol abuse
• Higher tobacco consumption
• Social withdrawal
• Frequent crying
• Relationship problems

What are the causes of stress?

We all react differently to stressful situations. What one person finds stressful another may not at all. Almost anything can cause stress and it has different triggers. For some people, on some occasions, just thinking about something, or several small things that accumulate, can cause stress. 

The most common causes of stress are:

• Bereavement
• Family problems
• Financial matters
• Illness
• Job issues
• Lack of time
• Moving home
• Relationships (including divorce)

The following are also causes of stress

• Abortion
• Becoming a mother or a father
• Conflicts in the workplace
• Driving in bad traffic
• Fear of crime
• Losing your job
• Miscarriage
• Noisy neighbors
• Overcrowding
• Pollution
• Pregnancy
• Retirement
• Too much noise
• Uncertainty (awaiting laboratory test results, academic exam results, job interview results, etc)

It is possible that a person feels stressed and no clear cause is identified. A feeling of frustration, anxiety and depression can make some people feel stressed more easily than others.

Maternal stress and bullying later on at school

If a mother experiences severe mental stress during her pregnancy, there is a greater risk that her child will be bullied at school later on, researchers from the University of Warwick, England, reported in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

The researchers had gathered and examined data on 14,000 moms and 8,829 children. They evaluated mothers' post-natal period, family adversity, anxiety and depression during pregnancy, as well as bullying incidences among their children aged from 7 to 10 years.

They found that mental stress during pregnancy impacted on the child's chances of being bullied later on.

Lead researcher, Professor Dieter Wolke, said "Changes in the stress response system can affect behavior and how children react emotionally to stress such as being picked on by a bully. Children who more easily show a stress reaction such as crying, running away, anxiety are then selected by bullies to home in to. The whole thing becomes a vicious cycle, a child with an altered stress response system is more likely to be bullied, which affects their stress response even further and increases the likelihood of them developing mental health problems in later life."

Diagnosis of stress

A good primary care physician (GP - General Practitioner) should be able to diagnose stress based on the patient's symptoms alone. Some doctors may wish to run some tests, such as a blood or urine, or a health assessment. 

The diagnosis of stress depends on many factors and is complex, say experts. A wide range of approaches to stress diagnosis have been used by health care professionals, such as the use of questionnaires, biochemical measures, and physiological techniques. Experts add that the majority of these methods are subject to experimental error and should be viewed with caution. The most practicable way to diagnose stress and its effects on a person is through a comprehensive, stress-oriented, face-to-face interview.

How to deal with stress

There are three broad methods you can follow to treat stress, they include self-help, self management, and medication.

Self help for treating stress

Exercise - exercise has been proven to have a beneficial effect on a person's mental and physical state. For many people exercise is an extremely effective stress buster.

Division of labor - try to delegate your responsibilities at work, or share them. If you make yourself indispensable the likelihood of your feeling highly stressed is significantly greater.

Assertiveness - don't say yes to everything. If you can't do something well, or if something is not your responsibility, try to seek ways of not agreeing to do them.

Alcohol and drugs - alcohol and drugs will not help you manage your stress better. Either stop consuming them completely, or cut down.

Caffeine - if your consumption of coffee and other drinks which contain caffeine is high, cut down.

Nutrition - eat plenty of fruit and vegetables. Make sure you have a healthy and balanced diet.

Time - make sure you set aside some time each day just for yourself. Use that time to organize your life, relax, and pursue your own interests.

Breathing - there are some effective breathing techniques which will slow down your system and help you relax.

Talk - talk to you family, friends, work colleagues and your boss. Express your thoughts and worries.

Seek professional help - if the stress is affecting the way you function; go and see your doctor. Heightened stress for prolonged periods can be bad for your physical and mental health.

Relaxation techniques - mediation, massage, or yoga have been known to greatly help people with stress.

Stress management techniques

Stress management can help you to either remove or change the source of stress, alter the way you view a stressful event, lower the impact that stress might have on your body, and teach you alternative ways of coping. Stress management therapy will have the objective of pursuing one or more of these approaches. 

Stress management techniques can be gained if you read self-help books, or attend a stress management course. You can also seek the help of a counselor or psychotherapist for personal development or therapy sessions. 

Many therapies which help you relax, such as aromatherapy, or reflexology, may have a beneficial effect. 

Medicines
Doctors will not usually prescribe medications for coping with stress, unless the patient has an underlying illness, such as depression or some type of anxiety. If that is the case, the doctor is actually treating a mental illness. In such cases, an antidepressant may be prescribed. Bear in mind that there is a risk that all the medication will do is mask the stress, rather than help you deal and cope with it.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/145855.php

Understanding Stress

SYMPTOMS, SIGNS, CAUSES, AND EFFECTS

Modern life is full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations, and demands. For many people, stress is so commonplace that it has become a way of life. Stress isn’t always bad. In small doses, it can help you perform under pressure and motivate you to do your best. But when you’re constantly running in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the price. You can protect yourself by recognizing the signs and symptoms of stress and taking steps to reduce its harmful effects

The Body’s Stress Response

When you perceive a threat, your nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones rouse the body for emergency action.

Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and your senses become sharper. These physical changes increase your strength and stamina, speed your reaction time, and enhance your focus – preparing you to either fight or flee from the danger at hand.

What is stress?

Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way. When you sense danger – whether it’s real or imagined – the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction, or the stress response.

The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life – giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.

The stress response also helps you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV.

But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life.

How do you respond to stress?

It’s important to learn how to recognize when your stress levels are out of control. The most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. You get used to it. It starts to feels familiar even normal. You don’t notice how much it’s affecting you, even as it takes a heavy toll.
The signs and symptoms of stress overload can be almost anything. Stress affects the mind, body, and behavior in many ways, and everyone experiences stress differently.

Stress doesn’t always look stressful

Psychologist Connie Lillas uses a driving analogy to describe the three most common ways people respond when they’re overwhelmed by stress:

• Foot on the gas – An angry or agitated stress response. You’re heated, keyed up, overly emotional, and unable to sit still.
• Foot on the brake – A withdrawn or depressed stress response. You shut down, space out, and show very little energy or emotion.
• Foot on both – A tense and frozen stress response. You “freeze” under pressure and can’t do anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you’re extremely agitated.

Signs and symptoms of stress overload

The following table lists some of the common warning signs and symptoms of stress. The more signs and symptoms you notice in yourself, the closer you may be to stress overload.

Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms
Cognitive Symptoms	Emotional Symptoms
Memory problems Inability to concentrate Poor judgment Seeing only the negative Anxious or racing thoughts Constant worrying	Moodiness Irritability or short temper Agitation, inability to relax Feeling overwhelmed Sense of loneliness and isolation Depression or general unhappiness
Physical Symptoms	Behavioral Symptoms
Aches and pains Diarrhea or constipation Nausea, dizziness Chest pain, rapid heartbeat Loss of sex drive Frequent colds	Eating more or less Sleeping too much or too little Isolating yourself from others Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

Keep in mind that the signs and symptoms of stress can also be caused by other psychological and medical problems. If you’re experiencing any of the warning signs of stress, it’s important to see a doctor for a full evaluation. Your doctor can help you determine whether or not your symptoms are stress-related.

How much stress is too much?

Because of the widespread damage stress can cause, it’s important to know your own limit. But just how much stress is “too much” differs from person to person. Some people roll with the punches, while others crumble at the slightest obstacle or frustration. Some people even seem to thrive on the excitement and challenge of a high-stress lifestyle.

Your ability to tolerate stress depends on many factors, including the quality of your relationships, your general outlook on life, your emotional intelligence, and genetics.

Things that influence your stress tolerance level

• Your support network – A strong network of supportive friends and family members is an enormous buffer against life’s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated you are, the greater your vulnerability to stress.
• Your sense of control – If you have confidence in yourself and your ability to influence events and persevere through challenges, it’s easier to take stress in stride. People who are vulnerable to stress tend to feel like things are out of their control.
• Your attitude and outlook – Stress-hardy people have an optimistic attitude. They tend to embrace challenges, have a strong sense of humor, accept that change is a part of life, and believe in a higher power or purpose.
• Your ability to deal with your emotions – You’re extremely vulnerable to stress if you don’t know how to calm and soothe yourself when you’re feeling sad, angry, or afraid. The ability to bring your emotions into balance helps you bounce back from adversity.
• Your knowledge and preparation – The more you know about a stressful situation, including how long it will last and what to expect, the easier it is to cope. For example, if you go into surgery with a realistic picture of what to expect post-op, a painful recovery will be less traumatic than if you were expecting to bounce back immediately.

Am I in control of stress or is stress controlling me?

• When I feel agitated, do I know how to quickly calm and soothe myself?
• Can I easily let go of my anger?
• Can I turn to others at work to help me calm down and feel better?
• When I come home at night, do I walk in the door feeling alert and relaxed?
• Am I seldom distracted or moody?
• Am I able to recognize upsets that others seem to be experiencing?
• Do I easily turn to friends or family members for a calming influence?
• When my energy is low, do I know how to boost it?

Causes of stress

The situations and pressures that cause stress are known as stressors. We usually think of stressors as being negative, such as an exhausting work schedule or a rocky relationship. However, anything that puts high demands on you or forces you to adjust can be stressful. This includes positive events such as getting married, buying a house, going to college, or receiving a promotion.

What causes stress depends, at least in part, on your perception of it. Something that's stressful to you may not faze someone else; they may even enjoy it. For example, your morning commute may make you anxious and tense because you worry that traffic will make you late. Others, however, may find the trip relaxing because they allow more than enough time and enjoy listening to music while they drive.

Common external causes of stress

Not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be self-generated:

Major life changes Work Relationship difficulties

Financial problems Being too busy Children and family

Common internal causes of stress

Not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be self-generated:

Inability to accept uncertainty Pessimism Negative self-talk

Unrealistic expectations Perfectionism Lack of assertiveness

What's Stressful For You?

What's stressful for you may be quite different from what's stressful to someone else. For example:

• Karen is terrified of getting up in front of people to perform or speak, while her best friend lives for the spotlight.
• Phil thrives under pressure and performs best when he has a tight deadline, while his co-worker, Matt, shuts down when work demands escalate.
• Anita enjoys helping her elderly parents. Her sister, Constance, helps out as well but finds the demands of caretaking very stressful.
• Richard doesn’t hesitate to send food back or complain about bad service when eating out, while his wife, Miranda, finds it much too stressful to complain.

Effects of chronic stress

The body doesn’t distinguish between physical and psychological threats. When you’re stressed over a busy schedule, an argument with a friend, a traffic jam, or a mountain of bills, your body reacts just as strongly as if you were facing a life-or-death situation. If you have a lot of responsibilities and worries, your emergency stress response may be “on” most of the time. The more your body’s stress system is activated, the easier it is to trip and the harder it is to shut off.

Long-term exposure to stress can lead to serious health problems. Chronic stress disrupts nearly every system in your body. It can raise blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, contribute to infertility, and speed up the aging process. Long-term stress can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.

Many health problems are caused or exacerbated by stress, including:

Pain of any kind Heart disease Digestive problems Sleep problems

Depression Obesity Autoimmune diseases Skin conditions, such as eczema

Dealing with stress and its symptoms

While unchecked stress is undeniably damaging, there are many things you can do to reduce its impact and cope with symptoms.

Learn how to manage stress

You may feel like the stress in your life is out of your control, but you can always control the way you respond. Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you can’t, taking care of yourself, and making time for rest and relaxation.

Learn how to relax

You can’t completely eliminate stress from your life, but you can control how much it affects you.Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the stress response. When practiced regularly, these activities lead to a reduction in your everyday stress levels and a boost in your feelings of joy and serenity. They also increase your ability to stay calm and collected under pressure.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_signs.htm